Since then, I've been feeling grateful for the opportunity that I had to go on trek with our Stake in July of 2006 and for the time and energy that so many of our stake and ward leaders put forth in the planning and preparation for that sacred experience. The more that I've reflected on this experience the more I've come to know how truly involved the Lord is in our lives.
For our Stake, trek was held the week following my father's death. I remember after my dad's accident I wasn't quite sure if I wanted to travel to Wyoming to participate, I was still so much of a mess and I did best when I was at home curled up in my bed, trying to sleep through the grief that follows losing a loved one.In the end, I decided to go. How grateful I am now for that decision!
I don't remember very many specifics about trek. I couldn't tell you what we ate, where we slept or how many hours it took to get to Martin's Cove - let alone how many days we were there. But I do remember a few things. I remember leaving the church on the first day and leaving my newly widowed mother behind, thinking that this must've been what it was like for younger generations to leave those who wouldn't make it across the plains. I knew we would be back in a few days but at this point in my life, I remember feeling like I'd be gone from the safety and security of my own home for years. I remember in Dan's Cove where so many had lost their lives we were told that because of the harsh winter conditions, the families were unable to bury their dead in the frozen ground so they laid their loved ones to rest in the trees so the wolves couldn't get to them. I remember the reality of the Mormon Battalion when the Pa's and Young Men were called off to war and left their families behind - I felt that this part wasn't a reenactment for me and my family ... it was real. It was during this one section of trail when us girls were left to fend for ourselves that trek became a tender mercy for me. At the end of this section, we had to push our heavy handcarts up a large, steep, nasty hill with deep sand and rocks. I remember thinking to myself that as a trek "family", with everyone working together this hardship would've been a piece of cake. We had strong boys that could help us push through the sand and a ma and pa that could work together to encourage us to carry on. But the Lord had other plans, the men were needed elsewhere and we were left to fend for ourselves.
As the first few handcarts made their way up to reunite with their pa's and brothers at the top of the hill it was a struggle for the sisters and ma's but it was also a struggle for the pa's and brothers who were left to watch from the hill top above. It was as if there was nothing they could do to help us. Then they started to sing. They couldn't help push our heavy burdens but they could encourage us and they could give us strength, just as our Father in Heaven helps all of us to get through our trials. Just as my own father was trying to help and encourage me from his place beyond the veil.
These experiences, and a few others are most of what I remember from my trek experience - but these are the experiences that have meant the most to me in my life and that have continued to help me through my trials and short comings. I am so grateful that our stake decided to make more of an effort to focus on the spiritual trials and hardships of our pioneer ancestors instead of using the trek as a way for us to understand what it was like to not wear deodorant, brush our teeth, or eat the same meager rations that the pioneers were grateful to have. Many people have been on trek, all have had different experiences that have touched their lives in some way or another, I'm not saying one way is right and another is wrong or that any one way is better than another but my trek experience was right for me and the Lord was with me as we crossed the sandy plains of Wyoming. He was there and he comforted me, just as he had comforted the saints so many years before.
"... Why should we mourn or think our lot is hard?
'Tis not so; all is right.
Why should we think to earn a great reward
If we now shun the fight?
Gird up your loins; fresh courage take.
Our God will never us forsake;
And soon we'll have this tale to tell-
All is well! All is well! ... "
(Come, Come, Ye Saints, Hymn #30)
"... “Fear not, I am with thee; O be not dismayed!
For I am thy God, and will still give thee aid;
I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand..."
(How Firm a Foundation, Hymn #85)
